Zoloft or Exercise For Happiness

If you’re blue and you don’t know
where to go to why don’t you go
where fashion sits
Puttin’ on the Ritz
Different types who wear a day
coat pants with stripes and cutaway
coat perfect fits
Puttin’ on the Ritz
Dressed up like a million-dollar trooper
Tryin’ hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)

Irving Berlin 

One of my core beliefs is that every day I can wake up and make a choice to be miserable or to be happy. I believe I was put on this earth with a free will and the opportunity to make choices. I believe nothing is predetermined; it is all about choices.

Though I believe we have a choice, I also understand some people are born  with chemical imbalances and afflictions that cause them to have to deal with depression and other mental challenges just as some people are predisposed to cardiovascular disease.   In either case a person still has the free will to make certain choices about how to live his life.   Whether it be depression or cardiovascular disease, one has the choice to make good or poor decisions about their physical activity and eating habits. This long-winded preamble is just to make sure no one confuses what I am about to write.

If you are sad, feeling blue or outright depressed stand up and take a walk, ride a bike, go swimming or train at Action Karate. People that exercise on a regular basis are less likely to feel bad and be depressed. Exercise stimulates the production of naturally occurring chemicals in your body that help fight depression.

A 1999 study compared the use of Zoloft versus exercise to combat depression.  According to James Blumenthal Ph.D. “Our findings suggest that a modest exercise program is an effective, robust treatment for patients with major depression who are positively inclined to participate in it.  The benefits of exercise are likely to endure particularly among those who adopt it as a regular, ongoing life activity.” A follow up study done in 2000 followed the same patients and found that the exercise only group had more success and were less likely to relapse then either of the other groups.

90% of Success is Just Showing Up!

Now honey, I don’t wanna clip your wings
But a time comes when two people should think of these things
Having a home and a family
Facing up to their responsibilities
They say in the end true love prevails
But in the end true love can’t be no fairytale
To say I’ll make your dreams come true would be wrong
But maybe, darlin’, I could help them along

Bruce Springsteen

 In the next few weeks we will go over the characteristics that will help you succeed in your training and your life. The first of these  characteristics that make accomplishing our goals in the martial arts easy is attendance. Attendance or commitment to the art is at the root of your success. When a student gets in the habit of attending 2-3 classes a week and has the commitment to practice and improve their skills they will continue to see progress and their confidence will grow. That self-confidence will go a long way to pushing you through any challenges that you may encounter on your journey to Black Belt Excellence.

In life as in the martial arts, you do not get very far with a halfhearted effort. Your commitment to regular attendance will increase your confidence in your abilities and your success. Black Belts like promotions and good grades in school are achieved through committed effort and a persistence to achieve greatness.

Today is the Day

I want to fly like an eagle
To the sea
Fly like an eagle
Let my spirit carry me
I want to fly like an eagle
Till I’m free
Fly through the revolution

Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Into the future
Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Into the future

Steve Miller

There are two days in every week, about which we should not worry,
two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed;
we cannot erase a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow
with all its possible adversities, its burdens,
its large promise and its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow’s sun will rise,
either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet to be born.

This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day.
It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities
Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad,
it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday
and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore,
Live but one day at a time.”

Author Unknown

 

Life is Not Fair

Some folks are born into a good life
Other folks get it anyway anyhow
I lost my money and I lost my wife
Them things don’t seem to matter much to me now
Tonight I’ll be on that hill ’cause I can’t stop
I’ll be on that hill with everything I got
Lives on the line where dreams are found and lost
I’ll be there on time and I’ll pay the cost
For wanting things that can only be found
In the darkness on the edge of town

Bruce Springsteen

 Most of you reading this know my son, Mr. M. or Michael Jr.  In my extremely unbiased opinion as his father, I can tell you he is a great young man.  I often tell parents the true judgment of a child’s behavior is what he or she does and says when a parent is not present.  I have been blessed to always get pretty good feedback with regard to Michael and his behavior.

I remember Michael going through a period of time, between the ages of about three and seven, when everything out of his mouth was “It’s not fair”.

It started out harmlessly.  Michael, it is time for bed.  “It’s not fair”.  Over time, it went from a simple “It’s not fair” to a fist clenching, foot stomping, very loud “It’s not fair” for  even the simplest thing.  A request to put a toy away would trigger a full-blown meltdown.  Try explaining the concept of fair to a child.  It is not easy.  For that matter, try explaining it to an adult.

The Olympics provide yet another example.  At some point, about one million Americans, frustrated with the scoring, will say to those who will listen, “what did you expect from the Russian judge.”  On the other side of the world, at about the same time, about one million Russians will say, “what did you expect from the American judge.”

You can do everything right and success will not be guaranteed.  Why?  Because Michael was, correct.  Life is not fair. Sometimes the teacher catches you telling the person next to you “please stop talking to me” or sometimes by trying our best, we earn second place. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.  However, you can control how you react to things that you perceive as not fair. Do your best and be proud of your accomplishment because life is not fair.

A Worthwhile Read

Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing
Through my open ears inciting and inviting me.
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns,
And calls me on and on across the universe
            The Beatles

 THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, “Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.”

I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. “I will come next Tuesday,” I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised and, reluctantly, I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn’s house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

“Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!”

My daughter smiled calmly and said, “We drive in this all the time, Mother.”

“Well, you won’t get me back on the road until it clears, and then I’m heading for home!” I assured her.

“I was hoping you’d take me over to the garage to pick up my car.”

“How far will we have to drive?”

“Oh…just a few blocks,” Carolyn said. “But I’ll drive. I’m used to this.”

After several minutes, I had to ask, “Where are we going? This isn’t the way to the garage!”

“We’re going to my garage the long way,” Carolyn smiled, “by way of the daffodils.”

“Carolyn,” I said sternly, “please turn around.”

“It’s all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience.”

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand-lettered sign with an arrow that read, “Daffodil Garden” We got out of the car, each took a child’s hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

“Who did this?” I asked Carolyn.

“Just one woman,” Carolyn answered. “She lives on the property. That’s her home.”

Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster. “Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking” was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. “50,000 bulbs,” it read. The second answer was, “One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain.” The third answer was, “Began in 1958.”

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time–often just one baby-step at time–and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small elements of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

“It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Carolyn. “What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. “Start tomorrow,” she said.

She was right. It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, “How can I put this to use today?”

Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting…Until your car or home is paid off. Until you get a new car or home. Until your kids leave the house. Until you go back to school. Until you finish school. Until you clean the house. Until you organize the garage. Until you clean off your desk. Until you lose 10 lbs. Until you gain 10 lbs. Until you get married. Until you get a divorce. Until you have kids. Until the kids go to school. Until you retire. Until summer. Until spring. Until winter. Until fall. Until you die….

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don’t need money. Love like you’ve never been hurt, and, dance like no one’s watching. If you want to brighten someone’s day, pass this on to someone special.